To Say I’m An Overrated Troll, When

We're Gonna Promote Freedom. Usher In Democratic Values And Ideals. And Fight Terror-loving Terrorists.

I Never Dreamed I Would Receive The Mark Twain Prize For American Humor, Mostly Because My Style Is So Typically Austrian.

You Can’t Be That Kid Standing At The Top Of The Waterslide, Overthinking It. You Have To Go Down The Chute.

If You Are A Woman And You Bought This Book For Practical Tips On How To Make It In A Male-dominated Workplace, Here They Are. No Pigtails, No Tube Tops. Cry Sparingly. (some People Say “never Let Them See You Cry.” I Say, If You’re So Mad You Could Just Cry, Then Cry. It Terrifies Everyone.)

I Had A Gentleman In College Tell Me, During A Date, That I Could Be Really Pretty If I Lost Some Weight. On A Date!