To Me, Comedy Is A Game.

I Was In My Friends Garage, And He Had; A Kite, A Yo-yo, And A Boomerang. I Was Like "dude, You Have Abandonment Issues"

Count Your Blessings, But Not Out-loud, At The Top Of Your Lungs.

If You Want To Dry Hump Someone You Don't Know, Just Act Like They Were Choking.

If You Can't Tell A Spoon From A Ladle, Then You're Fat!

I Don't Usually Fly In First Class, But I Fart In First Class.