To Feel. To Trust The Feeling. I

My Basic View Of Things Is - Not To Have Any Basic View Of Things. From Having Been Exceedingly Dogmatic, My Views On Life Have Gradually Dissolved. They Don't Exist Any Longer.

To Feel. To Trust The Feeling. I Long For That

There's Always A Tension In Me Between My Urge To Destroy And My Will To Live... Every Morning I Wake Up With A New Wrath, A New Suspiciousness, A New Desire To Live.

I Want To Stop. I Want To Stay On Fårö, And Read The Books I Haven’t Read, Find Out Things I Haven’t Yet Found Out. I Want To Write Things I Haven’t Written. To Listen To Music, And Talk To My Neighbors. To Live Together With My Wife A Very Calm, Very Secure, Very Lazy Existence, For The Rest Of My Life.

I Want Knowledge. Not Belief. Not Surmise. But Knowledge. I Want God To Put Out His Hand, Show His Face, Speak To Me.