To Always Trust My Instincts, To Always

According To Life & Style, Lance Armstrong Was Seen Canoodling With Fitness Model Kim Strother, And The Night Before, He Was With Ashley Olsen. He's Going From Bar To Bar Picking Up Women - How Does He Get Them Home? Does He Put Them On The Handlebars, Or Does He Have A Banana Seat?

Ivory's The Kind Of Girl Who Gets Drunk And Immediately Starts Slurring. I Have A Lot Of Friends Like That, And I Think It's Because It Makes Me Look 'more Together.

Vomit And Feces Are Two Reason I Have Decided Not To Procreate.

I Couldn't Go Any Higher With Three Michelin Stars. I Mastered My Craft. I'm Still Learning And Picking Up Ideas.

I Had To Feign Interest In All This Nonsense Until I Could Ask When I Could Come Over And Sit On His Face. I Didn't Say That Out Loud, Of Course. I Never Say The Things I Really Want To. If I Did, I'd Have No Friends.