This Will Be Michelle Obama's Last Opportunity

The Mayor Of Sochi Is Now Saying That There Are No Gay People In Sochi. So The Only Thing That Is Flaming Over There Now Is The Olympic Torch.

While I Was Gone, I Had Quintuple Bypass Surgery On My Heart. Plus, I Got A Haircut.

I'm Very Resourceful. I'd Be Good In Prison. I'd Be Good In A Shipwreck. I'd Make A Great Hostage.

The World's Oldest Woman Passed Away At 116. They Keep Dying. I Think That Title May Be Cursed.

Incredible Experience, Watching A Baby Birth On The Internet. It's Now My Screensaver.