These Are Desparate Times." - Stephanie Plum

A Woman's Never Too Old To Make An Idiot Of Herself. It Goes Along With Equality Of The Sexes And Potty Parity.

Almost Everybody I Know Has Died,” Grandma Said. “bunch Of Wimps.

Everyone Knows You Can't See Death Cooties. Take My Word For It, That Couch Has The Biggest, Fattest Death Cooties That Ever Existed. That Couch Has The Mother Of All Death Cooties. – Lula

Grandma Mazur Stood Two Feet Back From My Mother. "i Gotta Get Me A Pair If Those," She Said, Eyeballing My Shorts. "i've Still Got Pretty Good Legs, You Know." She Raised Her Skirt And Looked Down At Her Knees. "what Do You Think? You Think I'd Look Good In Them Biker Things?" Grandma Mazur Had Knees Like Doorknobs.

Cracker Jacks Don't Count As Junk Food Because They're Corn And Peanuts, Which We Know To Be High In Nutrition. And They Have A Prize Inside.