There's A Big Difference Between The National

I Just Wanted To Be In Show Business. I Didn't Care If I Was Going To Be An Actor Or A Magician Or What. Comedy Was A Point Of The Least Resistance, Really. And On The Simplest Level, I Loved Comedy.

You Know, A Lot Of People Come To Me And They Say, "steve, How Can You Be So Fucking Funny?" There's A Secret To It, It's No Big Deal. Before I Go Out, I Put A Slice Of Bologna In Each Of My Shoes. So When I'm On Stage, I Feel Funny.

The Conscious Mind Is The Editor, And The Subconscious Mind Is The Writer. And The Joy Of Writing, When You're Writing From Your Subconscious, Is Beautiful - It's Thrilling. When You're Editing, Which Is Your Conscious Mind, It's Like Torture.

Before You Criticize A Man, Walk A Mile In His Shoes. That Way, When You Do Criticize Him, You'll Be A Mile Away And Have His Shoes.

Don't Have Sex Man. It Leads To Kissing And Pretty Soon You Have To Start Talking To Them.