There Was An Old Man Of Messina,

They Danced By The Light Of The Moon.

A Vile Beastly Rottenheaded Foolbegotten Brazenthroated Pernicous Piggish Screaming, Tearing, Roaring, Perplexing, Splitmecrackle Crashmecriggle Insane Ass Of A Woman Is Practising Howling Below-stairs With A Brute Of A Singingmaster So Horribly, That My Head Is Nearly Off.

And They Brought An Owl, And A Useful Cart, And A Pound Of Rice, And A Cranberrytart, And A Hive Of Silvery Bees. And They Brought A Pig, And Some Green Jack-daws, And A Lovely Monkey With Lollipop Paws, And Forty Bottles Of Ring-bo-ree, And No End Of Stilton Cheese.

I Am Almost Thanking God That I Was Never Educated, For It Seems To Me That 999 Of Those Who Are So, Expensively And Laboriously, Have Lost All Before They Arrive At My Age-& Remain Like Swift's Stulbruggs-cut And Dry For Life, Making No Use Of Their Earlier-gained Treasures:-whereas, I Seem To Be On The Threshold Of Knowledge.

And What Can We Expect If We Haven't Any Dinner, But To Lose Our Teeth And Eyelashes And Keep On Growing Thinner?