There Is Such A Thing As Too

If, At The Close Of Business Each Evening, I Myself Can Understand What I've Written, I Feel The Day Hasn't Been Totally Wasted.

I'm Half Scotch-irish On Both Sides, And When I Lose My Temper-brother, I Go.

One Stifling Summer Afternoon Last August, In The Attic Of A Tiny Stone House In Pennsylvania, I Made A Most Interesting Discovery: The Shortest, Cheapest Method Of Inducing A Nervous Breakdown Ever Perfected. In This Technique..., The Subject Is Placed In A Sharply Sloping Attic Heated To 340 F And Given A Mothproof Closet Known As The Jiffy-cloz To Assemble.

Do You Know Anything At All That Nobody Else Knows Or, For That Matter, Gives A Damn About? If You Do, Then Sit Tight, Because One Of These Days You're Going To Hollywood As A Technical Supervisor On A Million Dollar Movie.

This Medal (the National Book Award) Together With My American Express Card, Will Identify Me Worldwide ... Except At Bloomingdale's.