There Is No Thanksgiving Back In The

In Some Countries Women's Day Is A National Holiday And Men Give Women Flowers. In America Women's Day Falls On Another Holiday, Mardi Gras, Where Men Give Women Beads In The Respectful And Post-feminist Desire To See Their Naked Boobies.

People Spend Thousands Of Dollars Trying To Keep Their Teeth Straight. I Just Hope We Can Live In A World Where We Accept Gay Teeth.

I Don't Think Wood Was Discovered In Britain Until The 1970's. That's When I Discovered It Anyway.

I Felt That, As Time Went On, An Audience Gets To Know You And In A Weird Way, You Kind Of Feel Like You Get To Know The Audience A Little Bit. When I'm Doing Stand-up Gigs Now, I Feel Like I'm Doing Gigs In Front Of People I Know. I Think That's The Result Of Doing Late-night Shows For So Long.

For The First Time In History, Congress Has 100 Women In It. Congratulations. Welcome To Modern Times, America. It's Great Having 100 Women In Congress. Unless You're In Line For The Congressional Bathroom.