There Are Two Things In Ordinary Conversation

The Landlady Of A Boarding-house Is A Parallelogram - That Is, An Oblong Angular Figure, Which Cannot Be Described, But Which Is Equal To Anything

As For Politics, Well, It All Seemed Reasonable Enough. When The Conservatives Got In Anywhere, [judge] Pepperleigh Laughed And Enjoyed It, Simply Because It Does One Good To See A Straight, Fine, Honest Fight Where The Best Man Wins. When A Liberal Got In, It Made Him Mad, And He Said So,-not, Mind You; From Any Political Bias, For His Office Forbid It,-but Simply Because One Can't Bear To See The Country Go Absolutely To The Devil.

It Is Difficult To Be Funny And Great At The Same Time. Aristophanes And Moliere And Mark Twain Must Sit Below Aristotle And Bossuet And Emerson.

American Politicians Do Anything For Money... English Politicians Take The Money And Won't Do Anything.

I Admit That When The Facts Are Not Good Enough, I Always Exaggerate Them.