The Ugliest Player I Ever Signed Was

Being Thick Isn't An Affliction If You're A Footballer, Because Your Brains Need To Be In Your Feet. And Beckham Works Hard, He's Brave And He Crosses A Ball Superbly. He Treats A Football Like He Does A Wife, Lovingly, With Caresses.

I Gave My Players A Version Of The Same Message At Ten-to-three Every Saturday: 'i Would Shoot My Granny Right Now For Three Points This Afternoon.' They Knew How Important It Was To Give Everything In The Cause Of Victory. Every Time. That's Why My Granny Enjoyed More Lives Than My Cat.

I Can't Even Spell Spaghetti Never Mind Talk Italian. How Could I Tell An Italian To Get The Ball - He Might Grab Mine.

I’ve Decided To Pick My Moment To Retire Very Carefully – In About 200 Years’ Time.

We Used To Go To The Pictures Every Saturday Night But We Had To Leave A Little Bit Early And Get Home And Watch Match Of The Day - And My Wife Still Complains She Missed The Last Five Minutes Of Every Film We Saw.