The Truly Civilized Man Is Always Skeptical

I Am, In Fact, The Complete Anti-messiah, And Detest Converts Almost As Much As I Detest Missionaries. My Writings, Such As They Are, Have Had Only One Purpose: To Attain For H. L. Mencken That Feeling Of Tension Relieved And Function Achieved Which A Cow Enjoys On Giving Milk.

It Is Only Doubt That Creates. It Is Only The Minority That Counts.

You Can't Do Anything About The Length Of Your Life, But You Can Do Something About Its Width And Depth.

There Is, It Appears, A Conspiracy Of Scientists Afoot. Their Purpose Is To Break Down Religion, Propagate Immorality, And So Reduce Mankind To The Level Of Brutes. They Are The Sworn And Sinister Agents Of Beelzebub, Who Yearns To Conquer The World, And Has His Eye Especially Upon Tennessee.]

A Great Nation Is Any Mob Of People Which Produces At Least One Honest Man A Century.