The Trend Now Is To Get Away

Kids, They Are Always Hurting Themselves. It's Like, "quick, Get Me To Casualty Quick!" While Your Doing Something Important Like Sitting Down Picking Your Ear.

And Yet, People Still Turn To Jesus. You Will Notice Though That The Kind Of People Who Turn To Jesus Tend To Be The Sort Of People Who Haven't Done That Well With Everybody Else.

I'm Really Not Big On Nationalism, To Be Honest With You. I Really Don't Think It Gets People Anywhere Except Near A Pile Of Dead Bodies. I'm Irish, Yeah, But I Don't Need To Get Up On A Soapbox About It.

So Here Are Some Foolproof Recipes For Those Of You Who Understand The True Function Of Food. Bean Treat: Gingerly Pour Four Fluid Oz Of Beans Or Something Into A Jug. Cry. Eat The Beans From The Jug And Pour The Rest From The Can Down Your Throat. N.b. These Taste Better If They Belong To Somebody Else In Your House. Pain Au Dunk: Fists Of Bread, Rent From The Loaf And Dunked Into Anything Runnier Than Bread. Should Eat At Least Six Of These Because…you Should. Don’t Toast The Bread. Toast Is Cookery.

Home Gigs Can Be Hard Because It's An Odd Collision. More Than Anything, I Feel Self-conscious When My Family Are In The Audience. I'm Doing This Job Which Is Not Quite Acting - Part Of It Is Me, Part Performance. You're Presenting A Cartoon Of Yourself To People Who Know You As A Line-drawing.