The Townspeople Are Morons, Yokels, Peasants And

When You Sympathize With A Married Woman You Either Make Two Enemies Or Gain One Wife And One Friend.

[a Formula For Answering Controversial Letters -- Without Even Reading The Letters:] Dear Sir (or Madame): You May Be Right.

For Every Problem, There Is A Solution That Is Simple, Neat, And Wrong.

All The Charming And Beautiful Things, From The Song Of Songs, To Bouillabaisse, And From The Nine Beethoven Symphonies To The Martini Cocktail, Have Been Given To Humanity By Men Who, When The Hour Came, Turned From Tap Water To Something With Color In It, And More In It Than Mere Oxygen And Hydrogen.

There Is No Record In Human History Of A Happy Philosopher: They Exist Only In Romantic Legend.