The Tortoise Moves Very Slowly, It Moves

It's A Shame Cars Don't Run On Cognitive Dissonance.

These People [the Christians] Watched The Flintstones As If It Were A Documentary.

I Had More Material On Weather Than Anyone Else, I Guess, ... Back When I Was Traveling A Lot On The Road As A Standup Comic, Between Airport Security And The Weather... I Just Wanted To Be Prepared For Sitting In The Airport.

I'm Constantly In Fear Of Having A Stroke.

I Went To New Zealand This Year, And, Whew Man, I Know A Lot Of People Want To Go There. But Let Me Just Tell You, It's 22 Hours By Plane. So, If You Have The Opportunity, Don't.