The Theater Is A Great Equalizer: It

The Only Time People Dislike Gossip Is When You Gossip About Them.

Sure Must Be A Great Consolation To The Poor People Who Lost Their Stock In The Late Crash To Know That It Has Fallen In The Hands Of Mr. Rockefeller, Who Will Take Care Of It And See That It Has A Good Home And Never Be Allowed To Wander Around Unprotected Again. There Is One Rule That Works In Every Calamity. Be It Pestilence, War Or Famine, The Rich Get Richer And The Poor Get Poorer. The Poor Even Help Arrange It.

I Was Born On Nov. 4, Which Is Election Day ... My Birthday Has Made More Men And Sent More Back To Honest Work Than Any Other Days In The Year.

Sometimes People Deserve A High Five, In The Face, With A Chair.

There Is No Argument In The World That Carries The Hatred That A Relioious Belief Does. The More Learned A Man Is, The Less Consideration He Has For Another Man's Belief.