The Secret To A Long Marriage Is

When I Talk To A Man, I Can Always Tell What He's Thinking By Where He Is Looking. If He Is Looking At My Eyes, He Is Looking For Intelligence. If He Is Looking At My Mouth, He Is Looking For Wisdom. But If He Is Looking Anywhere Else Except My Chest He's Looking For Another Man.

People Think I'm As Shallow And Superficial As I Look, And It's A Surprise When They Find Out, Sure Enough, I Am.

I Do Have Big Tits. Always Had 'em - Pushed 'em Up, Whacked 'em Around. Why Not Make Fun Of 'em? I've Made A Fortune With 'em.

With The First Money I Ever Made I Bought My Mommy And Daddy A Car, And Helped Them Fix Their House Up.

Believe It Or Not, I Was Just Given An Honorary Doctorate Degree From The University Of Tennessee.