The Rolling Stones Are So Versatile, They're

Speaking Of Twitter, I Don't Even Know If I Composed A Blog Entry In 2009, As I Was Too Busy Parceling My Every Thought Into Cute 140-character Sound Bites. I Used To Only Worry About Being Pithy For A Living; Now Some Of My Best Lines Are Wasted On A Free App!

The Public's Appetite For Frothy, Flippant Blondes Has Waned, But Paris Hilton Still Fascinates Me.

Tabloid Photos Capture People At Their Most Self-conscious And Disoriented; In Real Life, Paris Hilton Is Like An Elegant Paper Crane.

Above The Stage Was A Glass-floored Second Stage, Which Allowed Customers To Look Up And Watch Another Girl Dancing Overhead. This Multidimensional Display Of Poontang Reminded Me Of The 3-d Chessboard On Star Trek, Which In Turn Reminded Me That I Was A Huge Nerd.

'sweet Valley High' Is Fantastic, Fabulous, A Little Bit Campy, And - Dare I Say It - Cinematic.