The Role Of The Comedian Is To

People Always Snap And Think They're Jesus. How Come No One Ever Snaps And Thinks They're Buddha?

I'm A Heavy Smoker. I Go Through Two Lighters A Day.

The Voice Of Reason Is In Us All...and Everyone Can Recognize It Because It Makes Sense And Everyone Benefits From It Equally.

They Believe The Bible Is The Exact Word Of God - Then They Change The Bible! Pretty Presumptuous, Hu Huh? "i Think What God Meant To Say..."

I'm Glad Mushrooms Are Against The Law, Because I Took Them One Time, And You Know What Happened To Me? I Laid In A Field Of Green Grass For Four Hours Going, "my God! I Love Everything." Yeah, Now If That Isn't A Hazard To Our Country... How Are We Gonna Justify Arms Dealing When We Realize That We're All One?