The Really Disturbing Thing About Somalia Is

At The Age Of 12 I Won The School Prize For Best English Essay. The Prize Was A Copy Of Somerset Maugham's 'introduction To Modern English And American Literature.' To This Day I Keep It On The Shelf Between My Collection Of Forester's Works And The Little Urn That Contains My Mother's Ashes.

I'm Not A Good Father And They're Not Children Any More; The Eldest Is In His Fifties. My Relationship With Their Mothers Broke Down And, Because Of What The Law Was, They Went With Their Mothers And Were Imbued With Their Mothers' Morality In Life And They Were Not My People Any More.

My Family Wasn't Terribly Affluent And Looked Upon Money Very Carefully As Something That Had To Be Saved, Not Spent. My Father Built The Ducting That Took Air Into The Copper Mines And Made About 6 D A Yard In The Thirties, Which Was Good Money Back Then.

Quite Frankly, I Think Political Correctness Is The Worst Form Of Censorship. You're Not Allowed To Speak Your Mind Unless You're Black, Or Unless You're A Terrorist, Or Unless You're An Arab Or A Minority People. Then You Can Say What You Like. But If You Are Like A Lot Of Us You Are Not Supposed To Say Certain Things.

The Best Cure For Racism Is To Have Somebody Shoot At You. Man, It Does Not Matter Then What Color The Arse Is That Comes To Save Yours-black Or White, You're Ready To Give It A Big Fat Kiss.