The Problem With Doing Commercials Is That

I Actually Did Ponder Doing The Brad Pitt/angelina Jolie Thing And Get A Kid From Ethiopia. But You Know, I Already Have An Ashtray.

I Mean, I Know Thousands Of People Died And Everything, But If It Happened Today, There's Just No Excuse. They'd Be Much Safer Inside A Movie Theater Watching One Of My Movies Instead Of Burning Alive In A Collapsing Skyscraper.

It's Always Weird Being The Only White Person In A Group. It Feels Like Everyone's Looking To Me For Guidance.

When I Let Some Girl Take Me In Her Mouth I Think This Is What Jesus Must Feel Like During Communion.

I Have A Great Relationship With My Parents. I Have Not Been On Lithium.