The Only Way For Mankind To Survive

I See They Found Out The Universe Is 80 Million Years Older Than We Thought. It's Also Been Lying About Its Weight.

I Used To Stay At The Trump [hotels] And I Just Wouldn't Now. The People Were Great, But I Wouldn't Stay At A 'birther' Hotel.

There Were Two Republican Responses To The State Of The Union. So If You Watched The Whole Night, It Was Kind Of Evolution In Reverse. You Have Obama, Then Paul Ryan, And Then Michele Bachmann. Then Animal Planet Had A Squirrel Monkey Give His Take.

I Think Flying Planes Into A Building Was A Faith-based Initiative. I Think Religion Is A Neurological Disorder.

Did You See Britney Spears At The Video Music Awards? I Don't Want To Say That That Performance Was A Disaster, But After The Show, I Saw Rudy Giuliani Having His Picture Taken Standing On Her.