The Only Reason I Would Have Liked

It's One Thing To Ask Your Bank Manager For An Overdraft To Buy 500 Begonias For The Borders In Haslemere, But Quite Another To Seek Financial Succour To Avail Oneself Of The 5-2 They're Offering On Lie De Bourbon For The St Leger.

But You've Got To Have Money For Comfort, Which Obviously Doesn't Matter As Much When You're Young, But Even So. I Always Like To Bloody Eat Well And Be Warm. Have A Drink When I Want It.

Oh, To Me Not Drinking Is Like Being Dead, Almost. I Sit Here Taking Endless Journeys Down Memory Lane. It Gets Boring.

The Only Reason I Would Have Liked To Have Gone To University Is Because I Like Cricket. Not A Very Good Reason To Want To Go, But As Good As Any, I Suppose.

I Have Been Commissioned To Write An Autobiography And I Would Be Grateful To Any Of Your Readers Who Could Tell Me What I Was Doing Between 1960 And 1974.