The Main Reason Women Are Crazy, Is

Without The Laughs, The Audience Wouldn't Be There At All, So In That Sense, Yes, I Am A Comedian.

A Woman Told Me Her Child Was Autistic, And I Thought She Said Artistic. So I Said, 'oh Great. I'd Like To See Some Of The Things He's Done.

I Don't Have To Tell You It Goes Without Saying There Are Some Things Better Left Unsaid. I Think That Speaks For Itself. The Less Said About It The Better.

I Just Love It When I Hear A Little Commotion, Someone Leaving. When I See Those Doors In The Back . . .

I Have Lots Of Ideas. Trouble Is, Most Of Them Suck.