The L.a. Times Reports That Al Qaeda

They Determined Who Got The First Question By A Coin Toss, To Which Sarah Palin Said, 'oh, What A Coincidence, That's How I Got Picked.'

You're Not Famous Until My Mother Has Heard Of You.

The Irs Says It's Been Getting Death Threats Since The Health Care Bill Passed Because The Irs Is Going To Be The Ones In Charge Of Implementing It. They Say The Threats People Are Making To The Irs Are So Bad, That They Are Actually Hindering The Irs's Ability To Threaten People.

I've Never Understood Why Women Love Cats. Cats Are Independent, They Don't Listen, They Don't Come In When You Call, They Like To Stay Out All Night, And When They're Home They Like To Be Left Alone And Sleep. In Other Words, Every Quality That Women Hate In A Man, They Love In A Cat.

Racecar Driving Is A Lot Like Sex; All Men Think They're Good At It.