The L.a. Times Reports That Al Qaeda

A New Study Shows That American Students Are Becoming Less Proficient In Science, And If The Trend Continues, We Will Become A Nation That's Science And Chemistry Illiterate. And You Thought A Lot Of Meth Labs Are Blowing Up Now?

Now See, A Lot Of Critics Are Saying Arnold Can't Get Elected Because He's Just An Ambitious Guy With A Famous Name, Who Doesn't Know Anything About Running The Government. Didn't Hurt George Bush.

The Economy Is So Bad That Bedbugs Are Now Infesting Sleeping Bags And Tents, Because They Can't Afford To Stay In Hotels Anymore.

Here Is Your Government At Work. A Congressman From Colorado Said He Wants To Draft A Rule That Would Make It Unethical To Have A Sexual Relationship With An Intern. Only Congress Would Need A Rule To Tell Them Cheating On Their Wives Is Not Ethical. Don't We Have That Rule? I Believe It's Called The Sixth Commandment.

Today Is February 14th - St. Valentine's Day. Women Call It Love Day, While Men Name It As Extortion Day.