The Key To The Doors Is The

I Never Had A Checkbook. It Used To Be Cash In Hand, Stuff In The Pocket, Or A Manager Would Keep Some Accounts And Give Me Money. I Started To Wonder What It Must Feel Like To Actually Make A Profit, Pay Taxes, And To Have A Phone Listing, And A Manager. And Also, I Was Sick Of Sleeping Around Every Night.

You Know, I'm Fifty-two Now And I Call Myself A Singer. Before I Kick It I Want To Be Able To Carry A Tune In A Living Room If Called Upon. Of Course, Mine Come Out All Dark And Twisted And Weird.

Well, I Don't Use The Toilet Much To Pee In. I Almost Always Pee In The Yard Or The Garden, Because I Like To Pee On My Estate.

I Wasn't So Stupid That I Didn't Realize The Implications Of What They Were Saying. In My Live Work I Was Going For The Quick Thrill, Rather Than Spending Time Concentrating On My Voice. I Figured I'd Get On, Make As Many Quick Movement As Possible, Dance My Ass Off For Five Minutes, Move Into The Insult Portion Of The Evening, And Then, At The End, Create Some Kind Of Chaos Until The 55 Minutes Were Up.

I Stare At Myself In The Mirror And I Think, 'wow, I'm Really Great-looking.'... I Think I'm The Greatest, Anyway.