The Joy A Person Is Usually Seen

There Are Two Things Which A Man Should Scrupulously Avoid: Giving Advice That He Would Not Follow, And Asking Advice When He Is Determined To Pursue His Own Opinion.

If You're Watching A Comedian On Television And He's Making A Political Point, I Would Say He's Gotten Too Serious.

I Always Told Everybody The Perfect Joke Would Be Where The Setup And Punch Line Were Identical.

A Suspicious Person Is The Rival Of Him That Deceives, Both Seem To Practice A Knowledge Of Cunning Device, And Equable Sense Of Disengenuous Merit.

I Want You To Buy This Pit Bull. This Will Protect Your Valuables.' I Don't Own Anything Very Valuable. If I Buy The Pit Bull, That Would Be The Most Valuable Thing I Own. I'd Have To Buy Something To Protect It Then.