The Internet Has Usurped The Collective Unconscious

My Cats, The Ones That I Have, Were Feral When I Found Them So The Relationship That I Have With Them 10 Years In Is Very Mutual, Earned, And Evolved Over Time. It Was Never An Easy Thing. I Like That They Have A Certain Distance And Have Their Own Sense Of Selves.

I’m Glad To Be Part Of The War On Sadness. I’m A Part Time Employee Of The Illusion That Keeps People Stupid.

I Didn't Really Want To Kill Myself, It Just Made Me Feel Better To Know I Could If I Wanted To.

It Always Astounds Me That Over The Course Of My Career, And Having Lived In Four Comedy Cities - New York, Boston, San Francisco, And Los Angeles - There's Very Few People I Haven't Run Into.

In Show Business, It Takes 10 Years To Create An Overnight Success. You've Heard That, Right? But What You Don't Hear Is That That's The Exact Same Amount Of Time It Takes To Create A Bitter Failure.