The General Election's Taking Place Today In

Let Me Just Say This: You Know Your Campaign Is Not Going Well When You Open A Press Conference By Saying, 'i Told You There Would Be More Lewd Photos'.

Over The Weekend, Of Course, Down There In Washington, D.c., They Had The Big White House Correspondents' Dinner. Do You Know Who Was Really Funny? President Obama. So Funny, In Fact, He Has Already Been Promised 'the Tonight Show' In Five Years.

I Pulled A Hamstring During The New York City Marathon. An Hour Into The Race, I Jumped Off The Couch.

How About Those Olympics, Ladies And Gentlemen. Didn't London Look Like The Place To Be? New York City Was In The Running For This Olympics. But Here's What Happened. We Got Outbribed.

Jeb Bush May Run For President. Bush Presidencies Are Like 'caddyshack' Movies. They Should Have Stopped With One.