The Food Here Is Terrible, And The

I Want To Tell You A Terrific Story About Oral Contraception. I Asked This Girl To Sleep With Me And She Said 'no.

Eternity Is Really Long, Especially Near The End.

To Love Is To Suffer. To Avoid Suffering One Must Not Love. But Then One Suffers From Not Loving. Therefore, To Love Is To Suffer; Not To Love Is To Suffer; To Suffer Is To Suffer. To Be Happy Is To Love. To Be Happy, Then, Is To Suffer, But Suffering Makes One Unhappy. Therefore, To Be Happy One Must Love Or Love To Suffer Or Suffer From Too Much Happiness.

Man Consists Of Two Parts, His Mind And His Body, Only The Body Has More Fun.

Some People Think About Sex All The Time; Some People Think Of Sex Some Of The Time; And Some People Never Think About Sex: They Become Lawyers.