The Computer Cuts My Production Time In

To The Engineer, All Matter In The Universe Can Be Placed Into One Of Two Categories: (1) Things That Need To Be Fixed, And (2) Things That Will Need To Be Fixed After You've Had A Few Minutes To Play With Them. If There Are No Problems Handily Available, They Will Create Their Own Problems. Normal People Don't Understand This Concept; They Believe That If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It. Engineers Believe That If It Ain't Broke, It Doesn't Have Enough Features Yet.

The Best Plan Now Is To Have As Many Bosses As Possible. I Call It Boss Diversity. If You Work For A Company And You Have One Boss And That Boss Doesn't Like You Or Wants To Get Rid Of You, You're In Trouble. But If You Work For Yourself, You Have Lots Of Bosses, Who Are Your Customers, And If A Few Of Them Decide They Don't Like You, That's Okay.

He Was Deader Than A Shrunken Head At A Hackey Sack Festival.

No Matter How Smart You Are, You Spend Much Of Your Day Being An Idiot.

If Your Boss Gets Drunk And Offers To Photocopy Her Posterior, Do Not Helpfully Suggest Pressing Reduce 75%.