The Canadian Prime Minister Said Canada Would

General Wesley Clark Commented On Gore Endorsing Howard Dean. He Said Endorsements Don't Win Elections. Hey, In This Country, Votes Don't Even Win Elections.

A Pakistan Businessman Is Claiming That John Walker Lindh Is Gay And That He Was His Lover. Say What You Will About Lindh, But When This Guy Goes To Play For The Other Team - He Goes All The Way ... So Lindh May Be Both A Terrorist And A Gay Man. That May Be John Ashcroft's Worst Nightmare.

I'm Sure You Know By Now, Jesse Jackson Was Overheard Saying, And I'll Put This More Delicately, That He Wanted To Cut Barack Obama's Testicles Off. And Jesse Has Been On Several News Programs The Last Couple Of Days, Explaining What He Meant By Those Comments. Do You Need To Explain That?

Bill Clinton Is The Only Ex-president Who Hasn't Planned His Own Funeral. But, In His Defense, In The Past He Has Said He Wants To Be Buried Next To Hillary. I Guess He Figures He Never Slept Next To Her When They Were Alive, Might As Well Try It Now That They're Dead.

Comedy Is The Only Profession Where Love From A Stranger Is Better Than Love From A Family Member. You Need To Perform For Strangers To See If You're Really Funny. If They Laugh And Cheer, It's The Greatest Thing In The World.