That's Why Credit Card Companies Are Evil.

I Don't Drink Anymore For Cinco De Mayo. I Celebrate With Mexican Food, Or As It's Known In Mexico: 'food.'

I Try And Live My Life In Bite-size Chunks.

A Friend Of Mine That I Was In A Band With Started Me On Kafka, Which In Turn Led To Camus And Sartre.

It Is A Great Day For The Great State Of Texas. The Last Person Being Tested For Ebola Has Come Back Clean. So Texas Is Now Ebola Free. This Was A Big Week For Them. They're Now Free Of Ebola - And Democrats.

I Know That's Not The Right Accent, But I Can't Do The Right Accent. It's Either The Wrong Accent Or Another Octomom Joke.