That Was Liquid Football

What Tends To Happen In Most Movies Is That Strip Clubs Are Used As A Short Hand For Unsympathetic, Sleazy People. And That's Just A Lazy Cliché.

What Terrifies Me Is That I Might Somehow Endorse That View So People Think They Don't Have To Read Books Anymore.

People Come Up To Me In Supermarkets And Demand Humour. And The Less Amusing I Am, The More They Piss Themselves. So I Say, "i'm Doing My Shopping, Mate, Ok?" And The Guy Will Be On The Floor In Hysterics. Quite Odd. Eventually I Do Have To Say Something Funny So I Usually Go For Something Pathetic Like, "it's A Nice Place To Shop But I Wouldn't Like To Live Here!" And They Roar Again. Wet Themselves. I'm Lucky Though That I Am Not Massively Famous, I Can Get The Tube Without Much Bother. Must Be Awful Being The Beckhams.

It's Arguably The Best Newspaper In The World.

I Have Never Wanted To Be Famous, As Such - Fame Is A By-product.