Stupidity Is Not Another Form Of Knowledge.

When The Tabloids Photograph Me When I'm Out, I Always Say: "you Know What, Folks? I'm Not Married And I'm Not Gay. You Caught Me With A Hot Chick. You Got Me. Take Me To Hot-chick Jail. Did It Again. Guilty."

New Rule: This Valentine’s Day Americans Must Remember That Politicians Are Like A Box Of Chocolates. We Bite Into Them To Find Out What's On The Inside Only To Discover That Democrats Are Too Often Soft And Gooey And Republicans Are Mostly Nuts.

The Unemployment Rate Is Now At 9.2%, Which Is Scary, Because Experts Say 9.5 Is The Point At Which People Are Desperate Enough To Consider Michele Bachmann.

Sarah Palin's Whole Family Got Into A Drunken Public Fistfight. Something Police Are Calling A 'tragic Case Of Trash-on-trash Violence.'

We Are A Nation That Is Unenlightened Because Of Religion. I Do Believe That. I Think That Religion Stops People From Thinking. I Think It Justifies Crazies.