Stand-up Comedy Is A Raunchy Profession.

What If I Couldn't Read? I Wouldn't Be Able To Text My Friends Movie Times Or Even Order Cheese Biscuits From Red Lobster!

Oh, What's This In My Shoe? Red Carpet Insole. Everywhere I Go, I'm Walking On Red Carpet.

Being A Rapper Is About Being Cool, But Being A Comedian, You're Not Supposed To Be The Coolest Guy.

Most Single People I Know, Myself Included, Have A Difficult Time Even Meeting Up With The People They Like, Be It Busy Schedules, Texting Games, Or Whatever.

When I Bet On Horses, I Never Lose. Why? I Bet On All The Horses.