Stand-up Comedy Is A Raunchy Profession.

To Be Honest, I Tend To Romanticize The Past, And Though I Appreciate All The Conveniences Of Modern Life, Sometimes I Yearn For Simpler Times.

Why Would Anyone Get Married And Have Babies? That's The Dumbest Idea I've Ever Heard In My Life. Or The Scariest Thing I've Ever Heard In My Life.

The Hardest Part About Rollerblading Is Telling Your Parents You're Gay.

Aren't You Scared Your Kid's Getting Kidnapped...right Now?

You Should Really Treat Stand-up Like You Would A Play. It's A One-man Play.