Sports Has Kept Me On The Straight

I Firmly Believe That There Is A God. I Firmly Believe That There Is A Heaven. And I Firmly Believe That If You Go There, It's Gonna Be Great.

The Only Angels In Los Angeles Are In Heaven, And They're Looking Down On The Dodgers.

I Don't Like The Pitch Count! How Are You Gonna Develop Your Arm? If You're A Track Man You Say, "hey, You Can't Run Too Much." Or If You're A Boxer You Say, "hey, You Can Only Box Three Rounds." It's Not Right!

The Gym Teacher's Name Was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso Did Not Speak English. He Spoke 'gym.' One Day I Was Playing Basketball And Mr. Caruso Told Me I Would Have To Get An Athletic Supporter. He Didn't Express Himself Exactly That Way, Though. He Said, 'hey, You, One Day You're Gonna Go Up For A Rebound And The Family Jewels Aren't Gonna Go With Ya.' I Had No Idea What He Was Talking About. Next Day I Showed Up For Practice Without My Watch And My Mezuzah. He Said, 'did Ya Take Care Of The Family Jewels?' I Said, 'i Left 'em In My Locker.' Took Us A Half Hour To Revive Mr. Caruso.

Everywhere I Go, I Feel Strange.