Some Of Us Find Our Lives Abridged

The Universe Throws Us Some Obvious Little Pitches Sometimes, And We Need To Be Awake Enough Not To Let Them Slip By.

Liberal, Shmiberal. That Should Be A New Word. Shmiberal: One Who Is Assumed Liberal, Just Because He's A Professional Whiner In The Newspaper. If You'll Read The Subtext For Many Of Those Old Strips, You'll Find The Heart Of An Old-fashioned Libertarian. And I'd Be A Libertarian, If They Weren't All A Bunch Of Tax-dodging Professional Whiners.

And Just As It Is With All Proper Grannies, She Ordered Me Into My Pink Bunny Jammies.

I Was Never Asked To Join The Editorial Cartoonists Of America. No Fraternity Would Have Me In College, Either. I Think They Know Something.

Dear Lord, I've Been Asked, Nay Commanded, To Thank Thee For The Christmas Turkey Before Us... A Turkey Which Was No Doubt A Lively, Intelligent Bird... A Social Being... Capable Of Actual Affection... Nuzzling Its Young With Almost Human- Like Compassion. Anyway, It's Dead And We're Gonna Eat It. Please Give Our Respects To Its Family.