So All My Friends Have Kids Now...

I Did One Of The Worst Shows For That Kind Of Thing In Northampton, Massachusetts, Which Is One Of The Most Liberal Spots On The Planet. There Were Numerous People Who Walked Out, Somebody Had Thrown A Beer, I Had People Yelling And Screaming.

I Have Always Tried To Use Humor To "help Ever" And "hurt Never," For I Find That To Laugh Is Like Swallowing A Secret That Santa Claus Farted.

I Think The Policies, For The Most Part, That [hillary Clinton] Will Put In Place Are Not Going To Make Positive Changes. There'll Be More Status Quo. She'll Certainly Be Good For Some Groups Of People. Whatever.

I'm Not A Centrist, And There's Nothing About Me That's Centrist. I Never Have Been.

I Was Heavily Influenced By Andy Kaufman And Steven Wright.