Smoking Is, As Far As I'm Concerned,

Do Not Have Your Child's Hair Cut By A Real Hairdresser In A Real Hairdressing Salon. He Is, At This Point, Far Too Short To Be Exposed To Contempt.

Bread That Must Be Sliced With An Axe Is Bread That Is Too Nourishing.

When I Fly, I'm Never Afraid The Plane Is Going To Crash. But There Have Often Been Times When I Was Afraid It Wouldn't Crash. I Was Just Afraid It Was Going To Circle O'hare For The Rest Of My Life.

How Do You Know If Your Child Is A Writer? Your Obstetrician Holds His Stethoscope To Your Abdomen And Only Hears Excuses.

Large, Naked, Raw Carrots Are Acceptable As Food Only To Those Who Live In Hutches Eagerly Awaiting Easter.