Since I Became A Knitting Humor Writer,

Sable- A Common Knitting Acronym That Stands For Stash Acquisition Beyond Life Expectancy.

Sweaters Need To Be Imagined, Dreamed Over.

Some Knitters Say That They Buy Yarn With No Project In Mind And Wait Patiently For The Yarn To "speak" To Them. This Reminds Me Of Michelangelo, Who Believed That Every Block Of Stone He Carved Had The Statue Waiting Inside And That All He Did Was Reveal It. I Think I've Had Yarn Speak To Me During The Knitting Process, And I've Definitely Spoken To It. Perhaps I'm Doing It Wrong, Or Maybe My Yarn And I Aren't On Such Good Terms, But It Really Seems To Me That All I Say Is "please" And All It Ever Says Is "no".

It Is Some Kind Of Miracle That All Knitting Is Constructed Of Only Two Stitches: Knit And Purl. Sure, You Throw In Some Yarn Overs, And Sometimes You Knit The Stitches Out Of Order, But When It Really Comes Down To It, Knitting Is Simplicity. The Most Incredible Gossamer Lace Shawl ... The Trickiest Aran ... A Humble Sock ... Each Just Made With Knit And Purl.

It Is A Peculiarity Of Knitters That They Chronically Underestimate The Amount Of Time It Takes To Knit Something. Birthday On Saturday? No Problem. Socks Are Small. Never Mind That The Average Sock Knit Out Of Sock-weight Yarn Contains About 17,000 Stitches. Never Mind That You Need Two Of Them. (that's 34,000 Stitches, For Anybody Keeping Track.) Socks Are Only Physically Small. By Stitch Count, They Are Immense.