Sarcasm Doesn't Translate In Print At All.

Ninety-eight Percent Of The Things That Come Out Of My Mouth Are Intended To Be Harmless Or Even Charming. They're Not Ever Intended To Be Offensive Or Controversial.

Sometimes I Say Things That I Think Are Obviously Sarcastic And People Take Them Quite Literally.

But Me Contradicting A News Story Is Not Going To Make My Words Fact. It Will Just Create A New News Story.

I'll Starve To Death Before I'll Cook For Myself. I Think I Could Survive A Week Without Eating.

I Don't Want To Have People Get Completely Sick Of Me Before I've Ever Even Done Something Legitimate.