Room Service Is Great If You Want

To This Day, To This Very Day, Except For Television, I've Never Had A Writer. Anything I've Ever Done On The Stage, Happened On The Stage And I Developed It From There. It Started Doing Impressions And Jokes - Which I Did Very Poorly. To This Day I Can't Tell A Joke. That Sounds Nuts, But It's True. I Exaggerate It And It Becomes A Joke. Everything I've Ever Done I've Done Out On The Stage And It Became A Performance Over Many Many Years.

That I Walk Around Calling People 'dummy' And 'hockey Puck'. I Do Have A Different Life Apart From Being Sarcastic On Stage. I Might Kibitz Around With My Friends, But I'm Nothing Like The Person Who Does Stand Up. Nothing Like That.

When Someone Says To Me, Do You Do Stand-up I Say Absolutely Not. I Like To Think Of It As A Theatrical Performance. With Me The Show Changes Maybe Five To Ten Percent Every Night. Of Course, Whatever I See In Front Of Me And Sometimes I Get On A Little Run About It And It Changes The Show. And My Delivery Is Such That People Who Have Seen Me Many Times Say Gee, I Never Heard That Before. Actually, They Have, But I Might Have Changed It Around.

You've Got To Be Able To Sell Yourself.

I Have No Idea What I'm Going To Say When I Stand Up To Give A Toast. But I Do Know That Anything I Say I Find Funny.