Remember, Folks, I Am A Comedian, Not

The Great Thing About Celebrity Culture Is That They Can't Seem To Stop Themselves From Displaying Their Ridiculous Behaviour. I Feel It's My Job As A Serious Investigative Journalist To Witness All Kinds Of Behaviour And Then Report Back To The Audience Through The Prism Of My Own Anger And Bitterness.

If You See Me On Friday, You'll See Different Material On Saturday Night.

I Have A No-apology Policy.

Pretty Much Everywhere I Go, I'm Pretty Much Thinking I'm Going To Be Bounced. I Am Still The Outsider Who Snuck Into The Party. I Identify With The Regular Person, Because That Is Who I Am.

The Thing That Cracks Me Up Is How These Reality Characters Start Out Thrilled And Excited Just To Be On Television, And How They Move To Thinking They Are As Big As The Friends.