Remember, Folks, I Am A Comedian, Not

I Can Say Whatever I Want. So Do Not Bring The Kids. It's Definitely Rated R.

If There Is A Gay Army, I Am Their Warrior Princess.

There's One Thing That's Really Great About Waking Up Early, And It's Not Jogging Or Greeting The Day - It's Just That That's When They Make Doughnuts.

I Grew Up In Chicago And Was A Huge Fan Of 'the Second City', So When I Moved To L.a., I Was Looking For Anything That Resembled That... Then I Started 'the Groundlings', So I Went To A Show And It Was Very Much Like 'second City'. I Was So Impressed That That Same Night I Went Backstage And I Went Up To The Funniest Person There.

I'll Be Honest, There's A Part Of Me That Does Think I'm Held To A Different Standard Than My Contemporaries And Peers, And It's A Little Frustrating.