President Bush Has Unveiled His First Campaign

Martha Stewart Published Her Recipe For Disaster -- Mix One Part Arrogance With Two Parts Incompetence, Simmer In The Juices And Then Serve Hot In The Can.

In Business News, Chocolate Maker Nestle Is Buying Jenny Craig. Well, That Says It All You Need To Know About The War On Obesity, Doesn't It? It's Over! Apparently We Surrendered!

We Should Make Politicians Dress Like Race Car Drivers -- When They Get Money, Make Them Wear The Company Logos On Their Suit.

The Mirror Interviewed One Of Osama Bin Laden's Sons And Said Bin Laden Has 42 Children. That's Going To Happen When You Sleep In A Different Cave Every Night.

This Problem With Illegal Immigration Is Nothing New. In Fact, The Indians Had A Special Name For It. They Called It "white People."