Pope Francis Is Going To Go To

It Turns Out That President Obama Has Acid Reflux. He Had A Sore Throat, Went To The Hospital, And They Diagnosed It As Acid Reflux. Talk About Irony -- It's Not Covered By Obamacare.

Do I Think There Is A Heaven? Uh, Yeah I Do. Like A Really Big Gymnasium. How Do I See Myself There? With Really Bad Seats.

I Heard Doctors Revived A Man Who Had Been Dead For 4-1/2 Minutes. When They Asked Him What It Was Like Being Dead, He Said It Was Like Listening To Yankees Announcer Phil Rizzuto During A Rain Delay.

Jeb Bush Has To Distance Himself From What They Call The Bush Brand. So He Keeps Saying, 'i Am My Own Man.' But When Governor Chris Christie Is Out On The Campaign Trail, He's Always Saying, 'i'm My Own Man, Plus Another Guy.'

Did You Get The New Iphone Yet? The Iphone That I Have Is Outdated. It Has Two Pieces And A Hand Crank.