Political Correctness Is A Minefield

I Haven’t Had Botox Because My Face Is A Bit Lopsided And I Depend On Keeping Everything Animated So That People Don’t Notice.

For All Of My Life It Was The Size Of My Rear That Caused Me The Most Hand-wringing, But In This Nearly-50 Zone It Is My Stomach That Is The Problem. It Seems To Have Broken Free From Its Moorings And There Is No Knowing How Far It Will Roam.

The Back Windows Looked Out Over The Fields, Then The Atlantic, Maybe A Hundred Yards Away. Actually, I'm Just Making That Bit Up. I Had No Idea How Far Away The Sea Was. Only Men Could Do Things Like That. "half A Mile." "fifty Yards." Giving Directions, That Sort Of Thing. I Could Look At A Woman And Say "thirty-six C." Or "let's Try It In The Next Size Up." But I Had No Idea How Far Away Tim's Sea Was Except That I Wouldn't Want To Walk To It In High Heels.

I Never Wear Flats. My Shoes Are So High That Sometimes When I Step Out Of Them, People Look Around In Confusion And Ask, "where'd She Go?" And I Have To Say, "i'm Down Here.

My Friend Kathy Is The Only Person Who'll Be Halfway Honest With Me. 'did You Ever See A Cowboy Film, Where Someone Has Been Caught By The Indians And Tied Between Two Wild Stallions, Each Pulling In Opposite Directions?' She Asked.i Nodded Mutely.'that's A Bit What Giving Birth Is Like.