Photoshop Is Just Like Makeup. When It’s

The Person Closest To Actually Achieving This Look Is Kim Kardashian, Who, As We Know, Was Made By Russian Scientists To Sabotage Our Athletes. Everyone Else Is Struggling.

If You Are A Woman And You Bought This Book For Practical Tips On How To Make It In A Male-dominated Workplace, Here They Are. No Pigtails, No Tube Tops. Cry Sparingly. (some People Say “never Let Them See You Cry.” I Say, If You’re So Mad You Could Just Cry, Then Cry. It Terrifies Everyone.)

I Hope For His Sake That Tracy's Apology Will Be Accepted As Sincere By His Gay And Lesbian Coworkers At 30 Rock, Without Whom Tracy Would Not Have Lines To Say, Clothes To Wear, Sets To Stand On, Scene Partners To Act With, Or A Printed-out Paycheck From Accounting To Put In His Pocket.

(my Proudest Moment As A Child Was The Time I Beat My Uncle Pierre At Scrabble With The Seven-letter Word Farting.)

At The Upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez And Marc Anthony Will Perform Together As The First Time, As Man And Wife. Hopefully Music.